


paroxysm.

by loveschangyul



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: CampHalfBloodAU, Demigods, HanahakiAU, JiHan, JunHao - Freeform, M/M, Seventeen - Freeform, SeventeenAU, Wonhao, bestfriends!wonhao, greekgods, greekmythology, hanahaki, honestly more of a wonhao fic, idkwhatthisisimmesseduptoo, jeongcheol - Freeform, meanie, verkwan, wonhao honestly meanie who
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-26
Updated: 2017-08-26
Packaged: 2018-12-10 06:39:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11686125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveschangyul/pseuds/loveschangyul
Summary: Athena chuckled at her child sadly. "Wonwoo, the thing about pain is no matter how beautiful you portray it as, no matter how poetic you express it, it's still immensely painful, same applies with love."





	paroxysm.

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by my ultimate love for angst fanfics, greek mythology and the idea of hanahaki. one of the shittiest fanfics to ever exist, lol bye.

* * *

   
 Wonwoo thought the Amaryllis flower was pretty.   
   
Silently, he was playing with the flower and its soft petals with his fingers, focus extremely on the flower and almost neglecting the book by his lap. He silently laughs to himself, remembering the meaning of the flower by instinct. He discreetly looks up, stopping his intense stare and observation at the flower, and easily, Wonwoo's eyes find their way to the boy his heart has known to love.  
   
Wonwoo, fiddling with a flower that symbolizes splendid beauty, was now staring at Kim Mingyu from afar, an even better embodiment of splendid beauty.  
   
It was quite cruel, Wonwoo knew, how his heart could still beat so erratically despite seeing Mingyu everyday. His breath would halt being stable the minute Mingyu comes into Wonwoo's view, which was easy considering Mingyu was tall and was always easy to see. It was cruel how Mingyu could just flash one smile, and Wonwoo would immediately be ready to offer him the world. Mingyu would just exist, and suddenly Wonwoo's existence felt even more fucked up.  
   
It was quite cruel, Wonwoo knew, how the unrequited love from Mingyu is what causes Wonwoo's disease but Wonwoo still looks at Mingyu with all the love in the world.  
   
Wonwoo once again looked at the Amaryllis by his palms, smiling sadly slightly. Even he, a demigod, was never accustomed to the magic their world had to offer. Who would've thought unrequited love could have caused you to have splendid flowers grow in your system but have you vomit them in pain, causing you an immense amount of discomfort only to result in having a supposedly beautiful flower but rather one that only reminds you of how you're never enough for the person you would devote your everything for.  
  
Wonwoo, once again engrossed in his eternal agony and burdening thoughts, was caught off guard when a special Hecate child sat beside him.  
  
Xu Minghao

  
The Athena Child didn't bother hiding the flower knowing Minghao already noticed it. Clumsily hiding it would raise suspicion, so Wonwoo rather quickly figured out a feasible response as to why he was holding a majestic flower.

  
"Amaryllis flowers are just so irresistible, and the one you're holding seems to be even redder than most flowers of that kind I've seen." Minghao mentioned. "Was the paroxysm incredulously severe today that it also encountered blood?"

  
Wonwoo, persistent on refusing and lying to his friend, replied. "Minghao, I don't know what you're talking about. I just found _this flower_. You're no child of Demeter to know about crops and flowers such as this, Hao."

  
"Ha!" Minghao shouted at Wonwoo. "You're bluffing. Jeon Wonwoo's an ultimate intellectual and would never refer to the Amaryllis as simply as 'this flower' only, if anything you would've provided a whole set of background information and facts about the flower."

  
Wonwoo scoffed. "Insufficient proof as to why I'm lying, most especially because I'm not bluffing. You can't outsmart an Athena child, Minghao."

  
"And you can't hide the truth from me when I, a Hecate child, have spent my whole life making use of magics that attempt to cover reality. I know fake when I see it, Wonwoo-hyung." Minghao replied.

  
Wonwoo rolled his eyes. "What do you want, Minghao?"

  
"Just wanted to check on your hanahaki. You're never planning on telling anyone but I know you've started vomiting petals since two weeks ago." Minghao answered. 

  
Wonwoo, realizing there was no point in faking it anymore, chuckled bitterly. "Perhaps you can perform some witchcraft on me that heals me, Hao?"

  
Minghao shook his head in disagreement. "Everyone has been extremely specific on Hanahaki's cure. Unless love is requited, the only other way is through surgery, where along with the flowers, your feelings for Mingyu disappear too." Minghao said. "I'm guessing you wouldn't want that?"

  
Wonwoo was about to reply, yet was interrupted by a presence he knew Minghao held dearly to his heart.

  
"Hi!!" Junhui greeted, yet the Aphrodite boy somehow felt the need to wink after. "Dinner's in a bit, all thirteen of us occupy the biggest table today."

  
He smiled once more brightly, then left, but not before ruffling Minghao's hair.

  
Wonwoo chuckled, eyeing his best friend. "What happened to your biggest crush on Junhui?"

  
Minghao shrugged, as if it was nothing, when it was everything to him. "Nothing. I hope he chokes."

  
Wonwoo raised his eyebrows in question, but was smiling amusingly at how Minghao attempted to escape his crush. "What?"

  
This time, Minghao mocked a confused expression. "Did I stutter?"

  
Minghao didn't let Wonwoo answer, he just stood up and hastily ran towards his cabin. Why? Wonwoo had no idea, but for whatever reason he left, Wonwoo always knew he'll come back.

 

* * *

  

Junhui did choke. 

When all thirteen of them were sat down together, they started chatting about whatever came to their heads. The authorities didn't bother telling them off to sit with their siblings and by cabins, knowing the thirteen was bound to find ways to sit together again. Whilst Seungkwan was talking about how Soonyoung, child of Nike, was about to break down due to losing to Chan, another child of Nike, Junhui started coughing.

Minghao was the first to notice his choking, so the child of Hecate started laughing, almost falling off of his chair. It was his laugh that made people acknowledge Junhui's miserable situation.

  
Seungkwan and Joshua immediately came to his aid, trying to help him whilst the others tried to help out too. Minghao realized a few moments later that it was indeed too serious that Junhui was still in his choking fit, Wonwoo noticed worry etch over his features for a second, only a second. Minghao quickly almost immediately stopped his feelings and pulled an annoyed expression. He flicked his wrist, and with one muttered spell later, Junhui was fine due to Minghao's magic.

  
"Apollo kids could've healed him, y'know." Minghao said, eyeing Jihoon, Seungkwan and Seokmin, then he eyed Joshua. "Or mister Poseidon child here, or for that simple matter, anyone here, can at least give him water."

  
Seungcheol chuckled. "Yet the Hecate child still decides to save the day."

  
Minghao rolled his eyes, and tried to ignore the fact that he did after all see Junhui smile gratefully at him. Wonwoo smiled, almost forgetting that he has flowers basically clogging up his system, but just then, Mingyu's spoon fell.

  
Mingyu was beside Wonwoo all this time, but Wonwoo tried to avoid all cases of interaction with him that could trigger throwing up of flowers, it was difficult, but Wonwoo thought he was doing well, until now.

  
Mingyu sheepishly smiled and reached out to get the spoon, Wonwoo, who also reached out for the spoon due to his impulsive actions because of the mere intention to help, unconsciously touched Mingyu's hand.

  
Call it cliché, call it a major exaggeration, but every type of contact within Wonwoo and Mingyu was dangerous but made Wonwoo's butterflies go ecstatic. Sometimes, neglecting the fact that he has hanahaki, he almost thinks that love is after all as beautiful as romance novels describe them to be.

  
But that was never the case for Wonwoo, everything was always so suffocating. He was always so rational and logical, to the point where everything that could have made him happy needed a correspondence, and perhaps that correspondence was never really an optimistic one.

The same ecstatic butterflies in his stomach are also the constant reminders to himself that he was not meant to feel that way, he did not deserve to be giddy over something that was nothing to Mingyu. The existence of those giddy feelings were what reminded Wonwoo that Mingyu did not reciprocate that same giddiness, that same excitement, that same love.

So now he started coughing, but more severe than Junhui's old coughing fit. Even Seokmin, Seungkwan, and Jihoon, children of the God of healing, acknowledged the difference and severeness of Wonwoo's coughing compared to Junhui's.

  
Minghao once again saved the day, but not anymore muttering spells, but rather assisting Wonwoo to a safer place.

* * *

  
Days pass, and everyday has been just as toxic as the other. Wonwoo still occasionally vomits flowers, no matter how hard he tries to stop them. Sometimes, he reconsiders the idea of having a surgery for it to finally end, but he didn't want to stop loving Mingyu, no matter how painful. Loving was about giving and giving and loving someone had never placed them in a state where they're obligated to love that person back.

Wonwoo never saw the point to this disease. It was never within your control who you love and who the person you love loves, but somehow you suffer if fate does not go with your wishes. You do not only suffer with unrequited love but with a deadly disease too.

 Today, Wonwoo was just quietly walking throughout the camp, no plan in mind, just hopes that he won't start throwing up flowers. Upon his walk, he saw Joshua, watering the plants by his own little garden.

Joshua was no child of Demeter, but he often found the gardens of the Demeter children fascinating. He made a garden of his own nearby their Poseidon cabin. Wonwoo often hangs out with Joshua in the garden, both of them sharing this profound interest and fascination with plants and flowers. Wonwoo found the garden beautiful, he spent lots of his time there he can name any plant you point out. He also nurtures the plants when Joshua can't. Even Joshua himself, who owns the garden, considers Wonwoo the garden fairy.

So he went to Joshua, passing by all the beautiful plants and flowers and feeling slightly calmer than usual, at the same time trying to ignore the possibility of seeing such beautiful flowers and having them remind him of the flowers in his chest.

He stopped next to Joshua, who was watering the plants through pointing at the soil with his fingers. The Poseidon child was rather too engrossed at caring for the plants to notice Wonwoo's presence, so Wonwoo took this time to observe Joshua.  

Athena's children didn't have powers, but they had excessive skills too aside from their ultimate intellect. They can weave so beautifully and wield weapons almost as well as Hephaestus' children can. Unlike other demigods who often harnessed their skills by constant practice, Wonwoo liked to spend his time observing and reading people, picking up facts about themselves that even they don't know.  

Wonwoo always found Joshua so fascinating. He truly did embody what a Poseidon child must possess. He was often calm and reserved, like a peaceful sea, but when he has to be strong and powerful, he can be one of the most deadly people you can encounter. He was indeed undeniably irresistible, and he knows just how to put your mind at ease, just like a calming sea that can put you in a state of utmost peace. Wonwoo's favorite thing about Joshua was how persevering he was, almost like the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shore no matter how many times it is sent away. 

Before Wonwoo could even observe Joshua more, Joshua finally acknowledged his presence, almost screaming due to the shock of Wonwoo's unexpected appearance to his view. 

"Woah," Joshua muttered. "Hey, Wonwoo, how are you?"

He easily got over his state of shock, knowing it was no surprise that Wonwoo would visit the garden. 

Wonwoo shrugged and smiled. "I was walking around and I missed the garden." 

"Same, on our quest I constantly missed taking care of this garden everyday." Joshua said, reminscing on their quest that ended quite recently. 

Of course, due to a prophecy, the thirteen of them were sent on a quest. The whole thing was extremely difficult, from the quest itself to their sudden troubles like their transportation and trouble with attracting too many monsters since thirteen demigod presences were hard to ignore, but they succeeded efficiently, all demigods and even most Greek Gods and Goddesses in awe of their power. 

That was when the thirteen got closer together, that was when Wonwoo fell for Mingyu.

"I think I missed even the worst things about this camp when we were on that quest." Wonwoo said, fiddling with the Amaryllis in Joshua's garden, trying his best to view it as a majestic flower and not something that he threw up days prior due to the paroxysm of not being loved in return. 

"I agree, though." Joshua muttered. "One of the most memorable weeks of my life, with you guys, but would I want to go through all of it again? Never." 

Wonwoo chuckled. "I still remember when Seungcheol hyung was assigned to be part of the team according to the prophecy but he wasn't even claimed yet. It was literally a day before the quest till we knew he was Hephaestus's child."

 Joshua nodded. "He often never slept during the quest, practicing on how to control fire and wield even better materials for the team. It was more of a huge burden on him, don't you think? He was always the leader figure, and aside from that, he hurriedly had to harness his skills." 

"But he managed." Wonwoo said. "Now he's the best fire demigod there is."

 Joshua nodded, smiling to himself and muttering "He's the most accurate embodiment of fire there is in this camp, to be honest."

Wonwoo then noticed the hint of hesitation within him, as if Joshua wanted to say something but was afraid it could trigger anything. "Hey, u-uhm." 

"Spill it, hyung." Wonwoo said. 

"Have you seen the new demigod that arrived?" Joshua asked. 

Wonwoo nodded, remembering the ruckus caused from when a demigod arrived few days ago, and she was almost immediately claimed by her father, Zeus, after entering the camp. 

 "Well, I just thought you might as well know it now when I can still help you, better than knowing it some time else when anyone can see you and anything can happen." Joshua said, fiddling in anxiety for how Wonwoo will react.

Wonwoo's curiosity intensified, he was almost urging Joshua to continue talking until he followed Joshua's gaze, realizing that he was staring at what was behind Wonwoo.  

Wonwoo looked behind him and saw Mingyu with the new demigod. 

Wonwoo knew Mingyu was touring the new demigod. He almost always did it, if Jeonghan and Junhui didn't. New demigods were given a choice of who could tour them around and of course Aphrodite's children get chosen. 

It wasn't a big deal of course. You would be called overreacting if you assumed there was already something going on between the two of them simply by the mere evidence that Mingyu was touring her around, but the thing is, you're not Jeon Wonwoo. 

Jeon Wonwoo had extremely low self-esteem and easily overreacted from the smallest problems, with a belief that anyone can be better than him and he is easily replaced, but he doesn't show his overreaction until he's sure it's valid.

He observes everything, from how Mingyu's grin seems to be a lot more brighter when he's with this girl than his smile ever was in all the other times Wonwoo observed him, which was a lot. 

He sees how Mingyu is a lot more comfortable with how touchy the girl was, even when Mingyu almost always avoided all sorts of physical contact in all the other tours around the camp he gave. 

He sees how galaxies light up in Mingyu's eyes, even when it's afternoon and the sun is shining brightly, as if the constellations in Mingyu's eyes were contending with the Sun's brightness and every second Mingyu continued staring at the girl, the stars in his eyes keep winning.

And of course, Mingyu was Aphrodite's child. It would be obvious when utmost love and profound affection was radiating off of him, and Jeon Wonwoo, observant even during times he doesn't want to be, can never unsee that. 

"Wonwoo, I-I'm sorry." Joshua muttered. "If only I didn't point it o-" 

Then Wonwoo started coughing, and he was about to run away, not wanting Joshua to know about his disease, but his hyung didn't allow him to leave, instead he dragged Wonwoo to the more private part of the garden and patted his back as Wonwoo threw up flowers.

"I just thought it would be better this way than having you risk seeing them eventually and suddenly wanting to throw up without anyone being able to help you. At least this way I can help." Joshua muttered, still patting Wonwoo's back.

After Wonwoo threw up the flower and wiped away some blood smeared on his mouth by his sleeve, he looked at Joshua, confused. "Minghao told you?"

 Joshua shook his head in disagreement. "I knew since that dinner in the cafeteria. Your cough sounded severe, but familiar. I almost forgot I constantly hear those coughs from myself when I'm about to throw up my flowers."

Wonwoo's confused look has been replaced with shock, then his heart tightened in pain, not for himself but for his hyung.

Jeon Wonwoo was extremely observant, yes, but sometimes he observes specific people too much, sometimes he observes specific people not enough. He observes everyone, yes, but sometimes he forgets to observe a person past the admirable parts of them and until their broken edges too.

"Hyung," Wonwoo said. "You have hanahaki?" 

Joshua smiled sadly. "I am water, Wonwoo, but it seems like Jeonghan preferred fire."

 

* * *

 

Wonwoo seemed to be closer to Joshua after that incident, not due to pity but due to the comforting aura knowing they were both fighting their own battles but in that moment they both could understand each other the most.

When Joshua feels the need to throw up, Wonwoo initiates to help, and Joshua does the same for Wonwoo.

Now, the whole camp is preparing for the annual feast Apollo always has planned. The Music God likes performances and gatherings, he always takes chances where he can manifest his talents, and other people can too.

Apollo acknowledges art and music in all forms, along with his feasts are performances of demigods with miscellaneous talents from singing, to dancing, to rapping, and such, and then there are also art galleries for various masterpieces and bookstores for those with special interest in fields of literature and poetry.

Wonwoo was doing exceptionally well in avoiding the risk of throwing up flowers, but his plan went downhill when Hansol, his dongsaeng, asked him to join the hiphop unit to rap during the feast.

"What?" Wonwoo looked at Hansol with an incredibly confused expression. "We're Athena's children, Hansol, not rappers!" 

Hansol rolled his eyes at the pathetic remark to brush his suggestion off. "C'mon, we both know you can rap well. Everyone in our clique is joining the feast, hyung. Soonyoung hyung, Junhui hyung, Minghao hyung and Chan are going to dance. Jihoon hyung, Jeonghan hyung, Joshua hyung, Seokmin hyung, and Seungkwan are going to sing. Seungcheol hyung, Mingyu hyung and I already chose rapping, and I know you rap too." 

Wonwoo groaned immaturely, then pouted at Hansol. "You're never going to let me not join, are you?"

Hansol chuckled and shook his head in disagreement.  

"Fine." Wonwoo said then sighed, until he fully realized what he had just agreed to.

He would have to spend so much time with Seungcheol, Hansol, and Mingyu to practice, no one to help him if the flowers in his chest suddenly want to suffocate him. 

 

* * *

 

Everyday they constantly practiced nonstop, and after hours of perfecting their performances since they were all aware of Apollo's tendency to be easily entertained but still have high standards about things that really put him in a state of awe, they decided to give themselves break. They set up a small picnic area as well for them to rest and eat, get a bit more energy for more practice for the next days. 

"How's your practice, Soonyoung?" Seokmin asked him.

Soonyoung shrugged. "It was quite easy." 

Chan's, Minghao's, and Junhui's sweaty appearances begged to differ, but no one protested, perhaps they were too exhausted to do so.

In the peripheral view of Wonwoo, he can see Jeonghan and Seungcheol acting all sweet but trying to be discreet, and he instinctively looked at Joshua who was quietly conversing with Jihoon, as if he did not notice at all what was happening.

Wonwoo was constantly worried for Joshua due to Jeonghan and Seungcheol's frequent display of their affection for each other, but it always seems as if Joshua has found ways to handle the disease. He would sometimes be able to control himself and remain calm despite the storms he was experiencing. 

Wonwoo just wished he could do the same. 

He was able to avoid throwing up for the past few days, even when they had to practice for their performances, Wonwoo made sure he could still have the inevitable interactions and casual conversations with Mingyu without engaging himself in anything that can trigger his disease. They were able to converse carelessly, and in those moments, Wonwoo almost always momentarily forgets the flowers that suffocate him.

 Today, however, was different. 

Mingyu took the opportunity to introduce his new found friend to their group, and Wonwoo tried so hard to not pay too much attention to Mingyu holding her hand to bring her towards the group.

Upon their arrival, there was a smiley Mingyu, hand in hand with an exceptionally gorgeous lady.

"Guys, this is Felicity." 

 _fe·lic·i·ty_  
fəˈlisədē/  
noun  
1.  
intense happiness.

Wonwoo's mind registered the name and its meaning quickly, too quickly. It immediately makes sense to him how this girl was Mingyu's felicity, his intense happiness, and Wonwoo can't do anything about that.

Wonwoo can basically see the worried and caring glances Joshua discreetly sends his way, and how Minghao would alternate his gaze from heartfelt and caring looks at Wonwoo to glaring daggers at Mingyu (the other boys didn't find this odd, Minghao was always glaring at everyone).

Everyone greeted Felicity, and Wonwoo, even when he doesn't want to, takes note of the blush that painted Mingyu's cheeks when the latter sheepishly stopped holding her hand upon realizing he hasn't let go yet since earlier.

"Do you want me to use the mist so it can at least change what you see and you won't have to be triggered?" Minghao asks Wonwoo after sitting beside him when everyone was done greeting Felicity. Seokmin, Seungkwan, and Soonyoung were chatting with her, with Mingyu trying to stop them from embarrassing him to her.

"Hey, if it starts suffocating you, you have to tell us immediately." Joshua muttered, sitting by Wonwoo's other side.

Wonwoo shook his head, telling them no, too afraid that if he speaks it will put him in a more dangerous state.

So Felicity was invited to stay and eat some food, and Wonwoo was able to hold back the flowers despite every moment he witnessed where Mingyu was all heart eyes just for Felicity.

And perhaps that was Wonwoo's mistake. Perhaps he shouldn't have held back the flowers. 

After the picnic, he and Hansol returned to their cabin, with the latter who didn't need his hyung to tell him he wasn't fine to know well enough that his hyung wasn't okay. Hansol did not ask, however, knowing Wonwoo would not give him the answer he was looking for.

Upon reaching their cabin, Wonwoo went straight to the bathroom. He threw up the flowers he had been holding back for quite some time, and it was even more painful this time. His throat felt more clogged and after he threw up he was panting too much. He would almost feel as if his esophagus was scarred and scratched and there was even more damage done in the inside than the damage seen on the outside. All the flowers were coated in too much blood, and even after throwing the flowers up, Wonwoo still threw up some blood.

It was a painful process, but a bit of nectar (which he always kept with himself since he knew they can help heal demigods easily) later and the pain lessens. 

After making sure the bathroom was clean from evidence of what happened to him and that he looked decent, he left the bathroom.

Hansol was busy writing on a notebook of his when Wonwoo left the bathroom, but Hansol still looked at Wonwoo with a worried gaze.

Wonwoo easily acknowledges the worried look, and before he can even say and assure Hansol that he's okay, Hansol already nods understandingly, not particularly implying that he knows Wonwoo's fine, but perhaps implying that he knows Wonwoo's not fine, and he understands that it's just easier for Wonwoo to say he is than to talk about what's killing him.

"What's that?" Wonwoo asked his dongsaeng, and Hansol shrugged, trying to brush away the topic.

"I'm not going to ask about it if you don't want me to." Wonwoo says, eyeing and observing Hansol carefully. "But you can't lie to me and tell me you don't want to talk about it when it's obvious this is something you want to rant about."

Hansol sighs. He knew it was nearly impossible to lie to Wonwoo if he observed you enough. Athena's children didn't have powers but it almost seemed as if Wonwoo did have one.

"Have you ever experienced how overwhelming love is?" Hansol asks.

Wonwoo masks his looks with nonchalance, as if he was never overwhelmed with love, and its pros and cons. "Why have you asked?"

Hansol smiles brightly, and Wonwoo couldn't help but smile too. Utmost happiness was radiating off of Hansol and perhaps in that very moment, the universe was not too cruel after all.

"Y'know Wonwoo, you've always been a huge inspiration to me." Hansol starts off. "One of your greatest skills being your profound talent in literature that fazes everyone, I'm always left in awe."

Wonwoo muttered a soft thank you, not knowing how to handle compliments well but still wanting to show gratitude.

"I've read so many pieces of literature that aims to embody love as if it's the most beautiful thing to exist, and most days I wonder if I can ever write so beautifully." Hansol said. "Until I realized I already started doing so ever since I started writing about Seungkwan."

Wonwoo smiles, genuinely and sincerely. It was at that moment, looking at how love affects his dongsaeng, when he finally sees why so many people are so obsessed with the idea of love. It was in that moment when he forgets about the cruelty love has done to him and believes that it is after all beautiful.

because love was indeed magnificent, splendid in ways even words can never comprehend, and how sad must it be for something so ideal to be presented to Wonwoo so painfully because he's not enough for the person he loves most.

Wonwoo congratulates Hansol on finding love, tells him all the encouraging words he can muster, and assures him he's happy for Hansol and Seungkwan.

Soon, he's lying on his bed staring at the ceiling, this was often the part of the day he avoided the most. He was alone and only his thoughts could accompany him.

He gives his best in ignoring all the negative thoughts that haunt him at night. He goes over their future events, few more days of practice, then the actual event of Apollo, and then after all that, soon a capture the flag game for the camp. He sighs, and forces himself to go to sleep, for it was better than having to entertain the thoughts that will most likely damage the last bits of sanity he has left.


End file.
